Tug-A-Leah-War

Living one life with two different types of friends is typical, but verry difficult. I have found that I love all my friends, some more than others and then found that I love them in different ways too.The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction. This diversity of meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

So what do you do when you love all your friends, but are being pulled each way to choose? On one side I have my long, true best friends. They have been there for as long as I can remember. Through the past year they have put up with alot from me...and still are. I know they care about me, and always will. Sometimes I feel like they are the only ones who understand me or that they are the only ones that will listen to me. Other times, it feels like they either judge me or the situation.

On my other side I have my first love, my first real boyfriend. He represents not only himself, but my other friends who I have bonded with throughout the three years I have been in highschool.They care, they love me ; just not with the same love as my best friends have loved me with for many years. My friends are there for me to vent and there to listen and help. I believe that they really do love me too.

So when I have people pulling on me, telling me to "Do this" and "Do that", it is hard for me to listen. I want to make my own decisions. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I also dont want to be judged. I care dearly for all my friends. Some people dont understand my friendships. I get hurt alot, yes, but should that stop me from caring for the person who hurt me?

I'm sure alot of people have experienced this "pulling" from friends, this is just my first experience. I'm trying my hardest not to hurt anyone, but I am just doing what I think is right, and doing what I want to do.